Sunday, May 16, 2010

Joke of the Week - May 16. 2010

Here is a joke that I received in the Email this week;

My 1 day of Employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day…....

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’

So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am, I just couldn’t believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Is sex work?

Is sex work?
A U.S. Navy captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.
  While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the captain decided to pose a question to all assembled.
  He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
  He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it
was “pleasure?”
  A commander chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.
  A lieutenant said it was 50-50%.
  An ensign responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his
state of inebriation at the time.
  There being no consensus, the captain turned to the seaman who was in charge
of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?
  Without any hesitation, the young seaman responded, “Sir, it has to be 100%
pleasure.”
  The captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?
  “Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me
doing it for them.”

The room fell silent.