Sunday, May 31, 2026
A man walks into a bar and orders water.
The bartender pulls out a gun and points it at him.
The man says, “Thank you,” and leaves.
Turns out, the man had hiccups.
Sunday, May 24, 2026
A kid asks his dad, “What’s a coincidence?”
The dad says, “It’s when you’re thinking about pizza and the phone rings and it’s a pizza place asking if you want pizza.”
The kid says, “Dad… the phone is ringing.”
Sunday, May 17, 2026
A guy says, “I started exercising.”
His friend asks, “Running?”
“No.”
“Lifting weights?”
“No.”
“So what?”
“Jumping to conclusions.”
Sunday, May 10, 2026
A man asks his wife, “Why do you always read me my horoscope?”
She says, “Because it’s the only future that still sounds hopeful.”
Sunday, May 03, 2026
A guy tells his friend, “I finally fixed my posture.”
His friend says, “Really?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, now I have a good standing.”