Sunday, March 23, 2025

A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends…

A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns. "It is not polite."

"OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?" "Now really," the mother says, "These are personal questions and are really none of your business." Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?" "Those are enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play. "My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend. "Well," said the friend, "All you need to do is look at her drivers license. It's like a report card; it has everything on it." Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32." The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?" "I also know that you weigh 140 pounds." The mother is past surprise and shock now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?" "And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce." "Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?" "Because you got an F in sex.

#joke #food #honey #mother #mom #divorce

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Sunday, March 16, 2025

Pick Your Poison

In Ancient Rome there were 4 types of poison.
Poison I, II and III would all kill you.
However Poison IV, would make you really itchy.

#joke #short

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Sunday, March 09, 2025

I Gave My Father $100

I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.”
So he went out and bought a present for my mother.

#joke #short #mother #father

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Sunday, March 02, 2025

Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection…

Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

Doctor : Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!

Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion...

Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please...

#joke #doctor #animal #lion

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Sunday, February 23, 2025

Salad for Dinner

I came home from work this evening and said to my wife, "Are we having salad for dinner?"
"Yes we are, how did you know?" she asked.
I replied, "Because I can't hear the smoke alarm."

#joke #short #food #salad #dinner

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