Sunday, September 18, 2011
ARE YOU A MALE OR FEMALE?
NOT SURE?
HAVE A LOOK FURTHER DOWN TO FIND OUT…
NOT IN THE EMAIL YOU PLONKER!
I worry about you sometimes.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Last Kiss…either way you look at it !!!!!
A tough looking group of policemen were patrolling when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets out of his PC and says, “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to commit suicide,” she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss an opportunity he asked “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a Kiss?”
So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.
After she’s finished, the policeman says, “Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had! That’s a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?”
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl…...”
Sunday, September 04, 2011
Voted Best Joke in Ireland
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!”
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, did ya now? And what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”
“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”
Sunday, August 28, 2011
A man went to the doctor’s office to ask for a double dose of Vi@gr@.
The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose.
“Why not?’ asked the man.
“Because it’s not safe,’ replied the doctor..
“But I need it really bad,’ said the man.
“Well, why do you need it so badly?’ asked the doctor.
The man said,
“My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday;
My ex-wife will be here on Saturday;
and my wife is coming home on Sunday.
Can’t you see?
I must have a double dose.”
The doctor finally relented saying,
“Okay, I’ll give it to you,but you have to come in Monday morning
so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.”
On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his right arm in a sling.
The doctor asked, “What happened to you?”
The man said,
“No one showed up.”