Sunday, October 03, 2010
Joke of the Week - Oct 3, 2010
Wise Words
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “seniors” who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such a person:
QUOTE FROM HAROLD I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you old folks do now that you’re retired?’ Well…I’m fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine. I do it every day and I really enjoy it.
Harold should be an inspiration to us all.
Posted on 10/03/10 at 03:03 PM
Joke of the Week
(0)
Comments ;
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Joke of the Week - Sep 26,2010
A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a young man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, ” Excuse me can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The young man below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be an NCO,” said the balloonist.
“I am,” replied the young man, “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”
The NCO below replied, “You must be an Officer.”
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well,” said the NCO, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”
Posted on 09/26/10 at 09:00 AM
Joke of the Week
(0)
Comments ;
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Joke of the Week - Sept 19, 2010
UCLA STUDY (very interesting and short)
A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:
A study conducted by UCLA’s Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected on this subject.
Posted on 09/19/10 at 02:52 PM
Joke of the Week
(0)
Comments ;
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Joke of the Week - Sept 12, 2010
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?”
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a butt-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote… Personally, we didn’t care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had an Obama sticker… We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired.. It’s important
Posted on 09/12/10 at 11:01 PM
Joke of the Week
(0)
Comments ;
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Joke of the week - Sept 5, 2010
Gynecological Visit
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.
“Come now,” coaxed the doctor, “you’ve been seeing me for years. There’s nothing you can’t tell me.”
“This one’s kind of strange,” the woman said.
“Let me be the judge of that,” the doctor replied.
“Well,” she said, “yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet. When I looked down, the water was full of pennies.”
“I see,” commented the doctor calmly.
“That afternoon, I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl,” the woman continued.
“That night,” she went on, “I went again, and plink-plink-plink, there were dimes. This morning, there were quarters!”
“You’ve got to tell me what’s wrong with me!” she implored. “I’m scared out of my wits!”
The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “There, there, it’s nothing to be scared about,” he said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Ready for this?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(I’m warning you…..)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Still not too late…..delete now!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re simply going through the change!”
Posted on 09/05/10 at 11:04 PM
Joke of the Week
(0)
Comments ;
