Sunday, April 16, 2023
My wife packed my bags and told me to leave.
As I was headed out the door, she said, "I hope you live a long and lonely life!”
I replied, "So now you want me to stay?"
#joke #short
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Sunday, April 09, 2023
My mate recently got divorced from his wife.
They decided to split the house.
He got the outside.
#joke #short
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Sunday, April 02, 2023
A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"Aw, Dad, it's probably okay," the son said. "The police car right behind us just did the same thing."
#joke
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Sunday, March 26, 2023
Once there was an old rich man who was afraid of dying and leaving all his wealth behind on earth. So, he took up the matter with God. He pleaded day and night to be able to take all his earthly possessions with him. Finally, God conceded. He said the man could take as much as he could fit in one suitcase. The old man immediately went out, bought a huge suitcase, sold all he owned and filled the suitcase with gold bars. Shortly after that, the old man died. Awkwardly dragging the big, heavy suitcase, he approached St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter stopped him, asked him to open his luggage, and then told him he couldn't bring his gold bars into Heaven. The man was irate. "You don't understand," he said. "I got permission directly from God himself for this. He told me whatever I could fit into one suitcase, I could bring with me."St. Peter, shrugged his shoulders and simply said, "Fine with me. But we've already got plenty of pavement here."
#joke
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Sunday, March 19, 2023
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb is one of those silly but funny top ten lists. We hope you enjoy this and if you love dogs we are sure you will.
The sun is shining and the day is young We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
Make me.
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Oh, me, me! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven’t missed any and made just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb!
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or “We don’t need no stinking light bulb”.
It isn’t moving. Who cares?
First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Originally published as How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? on The Laughline
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